Birth Story (part 1)

This is going to be a long post!  I will do my best to explain the emotions  and the feelings we had those two days we were in the hospital with birth family and little miss Wren but really I could never fully explain the joys and sorrows that were felt during those two days.  It was miraculous and wonderful as well as incredibly sad and painful but I am so thankful God chose us to go on this journey and I wouldn't change one thing about it!

On Saturday August 9th we were sleeping at the condo in Fort Myers when we got a call at 2:00 am from the birthmom.  She said that her water broke and she was going to the hospital.  We asked her to keep us updated and we quickly showered and packed our stuff to head to her hometown which is about 3 or so hours from Fort Myers.  We were all ready to go by about 2:30 am and we hit the road not really knowing exactly how amazing the day would be.

On our way to the hospital!

We made it to the hospital at about 5:45 am and we went straight to labor and delivery.  Birthmom had just been given an epidural so we were so thankful we did not have to see her in pain.  She was dilated to a 4 and 80% effaced.  We had met birth moms grandma, mom, and best friend a few days before and they were all at the hospital to help her during labor and delivery of our precious baby!

Getting the room ready!

Me, Wren's Birthmom, and her mother.  All excited for baby to come!

We hung out in the delivery room waiting for contractions to get stronger. Jesse was a nervous wreck and spent most of the labor pacing the halls and walking outside the hospital!  The birth family thought he was so funny! After a few hours and not much progress the nurse had the doctor come in and he said to give birthmom some pitocin to help get the contractions going.  Birthmom was given pitocin around 10:00am and right away contractions started going like crazy and it was obvious baby was coming soon! Jesse and I were both excited and nervous knowing our long awaited little girl was minutes away from being born! The nurse started bringing in all the things for baby and turning on the warmer etc.  She came over to me and asked, since I was the mother, if I wanted to gown up and hold baby right against my skin right when she came out.  This is something birthmom wanted me to experience and I felt so honored to get to do something so special and bond with my little girl seconds after her arrival.  I slipped a gown on and minutes later birthmom was pushing and we watched as our little miracle was birthed into this world!! Jesse got to cut the cord just as the birthmom requested and then she was handed directly to me all pink, slimy, screaming, and perfect as could be!

Welcome to the World Wren Danielle!

After holding her awhile and after birth mom finished all the delivery stuff the nurses took Wren and weighed her and checked her all out.  I took pictures and watched amazed with what was really finally happening! As I looked back at birthmom she was crying and her mom was holding her. My heart hurt so bad for her.  I wanted to make everything better for her but I knew this was how it was supposed to be.  She did an amazing job during labor and delivery and we joke that she made it look easy! After Wren was weighed and put in a blanket they asked if we wanted to hold her again while they tended to birthmom.  I felt so guilty sitting there in front of birthmom who had just went through delivery and holding her sweet little girl while she held nothing.  I asked the nurse to ask birthmom what she wanted us to do if we should leave the room.  The nurse said birthmom wanted us to stay and hold the baby. She amazes me over and over again.  The nurse said it was helpful to birthmom to see us bonding with Wren knowing that we would love her and provide for her.  We stayed in the room awhile and Jesse held Wren also. After awhile birthmom decided she was stable enough and wanted to hold her sweet new baby.  It was heartbreaking to see her adore this little one knowing she was going to place her in our arms forever.  We had brought gifts for birthmom and we then gave them to her.  We got her a framed adoption quote about birth moms and I made her a blanket for her first daughter.  As she read the quote and looked at the gifts she cried and cried and we hugged her and thanked her for the amazing gift she was giving us. There was so much emotion in the room and things were happening so fast that as I look back it was really a blur.

Weighing in at 7lb 5.8oz

Meeting her daddy!

After awhile the nurses took Wren to the nursery to clean her up some and do tests etc.  We went with her and watched and then we decided to call our family and friends.  This took forever and we realized we know way too many people!! The nurses were wondering if we had big families because we were on the phone forever!! After calling everyone we stayed with Wren in a little room connected to the nursery while they waited for a room to be open for us to have to ourselves.  Once they had a room ready they let us take Wren and go relax in the room with her.  They were also getting birthmom ready to come to her own recovery room as well.

Not really enjoying her first bath.

As we sat in our room holding this little miracle I think we were both in shock.  The last however many hours had been a blur and unbelievable! Were we really sitting in a hospital room holding our long awaited little girl?? Really?? This was the first time since she was born that we were alone and had a chance to actually think about everything that had just taken place.  And the tears began to flow. I cried and cried and sobbed as I looked at this precious little girl that was going to be our daughter.  She was perfect and beautiful and I couldn't believe it was actually happening.  All the heartache of infertlity and the patience and paperwork for adoptions and so on was finally being paid off.  We had a little girl and she was perfect!  I cried and cried and wondered why anyone would think you couldn't love an adopted child as much as a biological child.  She wasn't my blood but she had my heart and I couldn't love anything more than I did her in that moment.  

Our world was changed in an instant...

Our perfect little blessing from God!

After awhile I finally regained my composure and the nurses were in to do vitals and all that on Wren.  Then birthmom had her family and friends beginning to show up to visit!  She had been put in another recovery room so we wheeled Wren to her room for all her family and friends to hold and see.  We have had such an open and constant relationship with birthmom through out the adoption that spending time with her during our hospital stay and meeting and talking to her family felt natural.  We were so thankful they all were able to meet Wren and there was more love in those two days than Wren will ever know what to do with! Throughout that day we would take Wren to birthmoms room whenever a family member would come or birthmom would want to hold her.  We would usually just hang out and talk with her or them.  Then when they were done we would go back to our room and feed Wren, change her diaper and relax.  We were so thankful to the hospital and nurses for giving us a room to ourselves and they even let us stay the night both nights!  We were also very thankful that birthmom allowed us to keep Wren in our room because legally she wasn't our child yet.  Birthmoms selfless love for Wren and even for us as she wanted us to experience everything a biological mother experiences still amazes me every time I think about it!

Wren and her Birthmom...selfless love

Throughout the day we got to meet so many people and one very special person, Wren's biological sister!

Wren and her biological sister!

She was so cute and we got pictures of her and Wren together! They may not grow up together but they will always be bio sisters and we were so thankful to get the opportunity to meet her! The last visitor came at midnight and we were beat.  Knowing that this was the last time any of these people would see this sweet little girl made us so willing to do whatever birthmom wanted. Birthmom was being discharged the next day and we wanted her to spend as much time with Wren as she wanted. Finally a little after midnight we took Wren and went back to our room for the night. We were beat and our emotions were all strung out.  So much joy and pain in one day and we knew the next would be even harder. We kept Wren in our room until about five in the morning when the nurse finally just told me she was taking her so we could get some sleep!  When you wait so long for something you never want it to go away so I was holding onto Wren for dear life even though I was so exhausted and really needed sleep!!  She kept Wren until about 8 am and she had to wake Jesse and I up when she brought her back to us!  

Then we got ready for another emotionally wearing day which I will put in my next post because this one is already way to long!