Wednesday, September 25, 2013


I am sure many of you have heard Zach Bertsch tell his testimony on the CD entitled Home that he made for his cancer redemption project.  I was listening to the CD the other day and usually it brings me to tears when I listen to him tell a little of his story and how God is redeeming his cancer to help build homes in Haiti for orphans and all the good that has come because of something we perceive as negative. This link will take you to Zach's testimony. ( I encourage anyone who hasn't heard it to listen to it!  It is so encouraging and really helps put trials and struggles in this life into a heavenly perspective. Zach says in his testimony that he sometimes gets excited about the ways God can use his cancer to accomplish God's purposes.  I finally got that yesterday as I was bursting with excitement on all the ways God can use Jesse and I  because of our infertility.  Now I know I don't understand what it is like to be on my death bed and still excited for all God can do because of it, but I got a glimpse of why he could say that despite the pain he was facing.  If Zach never had cancer there would be over 70 orphans in Haiti without homes and if I can speak on Zach's behalf I think he wouldn't have changed his situation even if he could have.  I feel the same way when it comes to infertility. Don't get me wrong I long to become pregnant and feel my little baby kicking inside me and have my own birthing story to share of how my child came into this world, but I wouldn't change our infertility.  Adoption would have been the farthest thing from my mind if we would have been able to get pregnant and start a family when we hoped we could.  Now it seems crazy that adoption wouldn't be part of our life.  It has defined us these last few years and really it's who we have become.  Just like when you are expecting a baby, as soon as you find out you are pregnant your world begins to revolve around the growing baby inside you and you plan and you hope and you dream of what your little baby will be like and how things will change when he/she arrives.  It's the same with adoption.  I think I plan and hope and dream about our adoption every day!  It has been the focus of my life for the past year and a half now.  There is a baby growing in my heart.  I don't know if it needs 9 months to grow or maybe 2 years to grow but it is growing and I can't wait till the day I get to meet him/her. Every day it seems to become more and more clear just why we can't have our own children and the way God is using this to form both Jesse and I into more perfect children of His.  I get so excited about all that God can do through us in adoption that sometimes it's hard for me to wait for His perfect timing. I am ready to be used so why are there all these things that seem to slow me down???  I've also learned in the last year and half that waiting is usually learning.  We learn so much in a time of waiting that will be important for when God asks us to move.  My life as a married woman has gone completely different than how I have always dreamed it would go but SURPRISE I wouldn't change one single thing about it!!!  God has already done so much simply in our hearts to redeem our infertility and we haven't even interacted with a birth mom or a child.  I know God has a lot more He can do to redeem our situation to accomplish His purposes!

Monday, September 16, 2013

Officially Waiting...

So by the title you can see that we are officially a waiting family.  Technically we have been a waiting family for a little while with Family Core without them having our book but they now have a copy of our book as of September 12th, 2013.  We are also now a waiting family with our Attorney in Charleston as well.  I sent her multiple copies of our book on September 12th.  So now the real "waiting" begins.  We have been able to keep doing things here and there that help us feel like we are making progress but now I think those things are coming to an end. We will probably have a few things here and there that we need to do as time goes on and things need updated and we do have a little research to do on babies that have been exposed to drugs and different things like that but for the most part our job is done! We have done what we can and the rest is in God's hands!   Now we can see how patient we really are:)

P.S. If anyone who reads this blog has experience with adopting a baby exposed to drugs I would love to hear your experience.

To our Child...We can't wait to hold you in our arms for the first time, 
to welcome you into our hearts and lives.  You will be loved.

Friday, September 6, 2013

Adoption Attorney Meeting

Yesterday Jesse and I had a meeting with an adoption attorney from Charleston IL.  We were informed of this attorney by our case worker in Peoria.  Kirsten, the attorney, does outreach and helps connect adoptive couples with birth parents and then also can do all the legal parts of the adoption once we would be chosen and need that done.  I was planning on waiting until after harvest to contact Kirsten and get set up to be her client but Jesse felt we should do it now.  He felt like it would be smart to be using all our resources right away to connect to birth parents because the longer it goes the more we will become impatient and want a child.  I didn't want to start anything that couldn't be completed before harvest since we will be very busy then, so I called Kirsten's office just to get information on how her program works.  I learned that it was actually very simple to get set up with her since we already had our home-study and foster license completed through Family Core.  I then set up a meeting with her and we went yesterday to get information and learn about her program.

The meeting went great and we left feeling pretty excited to get to work with Kirsten and for what the future holds!  Kirsten is very straight forward and tells you exactly what she thinks.  This was actually great because it really gave us a better idea of what to expect for our adoption journey.  She looked at our profile book as well and gave us some helpful tips on that.  Kirsten has been working as an adoption attorney for over 20 years now so she has a lot of experience and knows the trends of adoption and what birth parents are looking for in an adoptive couple.  There were two main things she felt might delay us being chosen quickly. The first is that fact that we are so young.  Anyone older than us that would be placing a child up for adoption would most likely not choose us because if they feel they can't parent then they would not give their child to someone younger than them!  She said we will most likely be chosen by a teenager or someone younger than us.  The second thing is our religion.  She said a lot of birth mothers are rebelling against religion and so to see us so strongly serve God could be a turn off for them.  She did tell us that if we were a few years older she would say we would be chosen within six months!  But because we are so young that narrows down who will chose us so she said more realistically would be a year, two at the most.  Kirsten deals with a lot of birth parents compared to Family Core.  She has created a network of ways to connect with birth parents all over Illinois not just in Charleston.  She usually works with about 15 adoptive couples and places anywhere from 10-25 babies a year through her adoption program. She said right now is a great time to enter the adoption world because there have been a lot of babies placed for adoption in recent months and years.  Since July she has placed six babies through her adoption program!

She gave us a form to fill out that is four pages of general information.  We need to complete the form and return it to her along with several copies of our profile book.  She likes to have several copies of profile books because she said she sends them in the mail to birth parents, takes them in her car and keeps some in the office etc. so she likes to have plenty on hand.  It seems as though she shows books often and is a very busy person which is great news!  Then that is pretty much all we have to do so I am glad we went ahead and are getting set up with her now rather than after harvest.

As far as our profile book goes I said earlier that she gave us some helpful tips.  Before we went to this meeting our case worker told us that Kirsten would tell us exactly what she thought of our book and would tell us to make changes.  Some people can be offended after working with Family Core where they don't give too much criticism on profile books.  Our case worker just wanted us to be prepared!  So we figured there would be a least a few things that needed to change if not a bunch!  After looking through our book Kirsten closed it and looked at us with this expression like she was going to tell us the whole thing needed to be redone!  Then she said that the trend and what seems to be working best for being chosen quickly was to have a very simple plain profile book without all the embellishments and decoration like scrapbooks.  Well basically that's what ours is (the scrapbook type)!  She then said that she would normally ask us to change it to more simple so we would have a better chance of getting chosen but she wanted us to leave it just the way it was.  She said our book has a very youthful feel to it and that would be perfect for attracting the young women who would be the ones choosing us since we are so young!  She said to leave our book the way it is for at least six months and if it wasn't getting any "nibbles" then we could make a new book that was more plain.  She did say that our "story" and pictures were great and she really liked them.  So we actually didn't have to change anything! (Except putting borders around pictures to help them stand out)  I did decide to make a more plain book to send to Kirsten along with some copies of our original book and then she can show whichever one she prefers.

So I have been creating and updating our profile book and filling out a little paperwork.  I think Jesse and I are both just a little more excited knowing how many babies Kirsten places through her program.  We also really like Kirsten as a person and think she will be a great attorney to have in the future!

On the way home from our meeting in Charleston there was a sticker on the back of a vehicle that said Psalm 37:4.  Jesse told me to look it up in our Bible we had in the vehicle so I did and here is what it says!

Delight thyself also in the Lord; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.

The next verse went on to say...

Commit thy way unto the Lord; trust also in Him; and He shall bring it to pass.

Jesse's words were " Just what we needed for the ride home!"
God has it all figured out and I am encouraged to know He will bring it to pass, in His timing and in His way!