Gateway Woods

We are sure many of you are aware of our big decision but for those who are not we wanted to let you all know that we have accepted a position as alternate houseparents in the residential care program at Gateway Woods in Leo Indiana. We are so excited to get to be a part of the Gateway team and to get this opportunity to work with the kids here but we are also sad to leave friends and family and apprehensive as we think about all the change that will be taking place over the next few months and even years! We know God is calling us to this ministry and we feel so peaceful about it in Him. We moved on April 30th! I will hopefully do another update soon with some pictures and details of the move and getting settled in to our new place! Also I hope to give a little more detail about the work that takes place here at Gateway Woods and what our job will entail. We appreciate all the prayers and support and are excited to get our Forrest church involved with the mission at Gateway Woods! Thankfully it is only 3.5-4 hours from home so I am sure we will be taking many trips back and forth to visit family and friends! If you want to know more about Gateway Woods feel free to visit their website at www.gatewaywoods.org

Many people have asked if I would put our testimony of coming to work at Gateway Woods on our blog and keep our friends and family back home updated about life at Gateway through our blog. It has been a pretty crazy week with moving and then starting training and trying to adjust to all the changes and unpack and get settled in but I do hope to be able to give a few updates about life here at Gateway as times goes on! For those that were interested I will share our testimony below of how God worked in our hearts and what led us to work at Gateway Woods! I also hope to get Wren's 9 Month update written and pictures downloaded sometime this week for those of you that enjoy reading her monthly updates!! Just want you to know I didn't forget and I should get to it sometime this week :)

OUR TESTIMONY

It was at the beginning of December 2013 when Gateway was first brought to our attention.  We had finished our adoption paperwork in the fall of 2013 and were waiting for a placement.  One day at the beginning of December we got a message from a Gateway Rep saying there were current openings for house parents at Gateway and this person felt we would be a good fit for this job and meet the qualifications.  For some reason when Jesse and I read that message we were both very open to considering the position.  We had never thought about working at Gateway in our life and had no desire to move but although it seemed scary we both felt we should pray about it.  We did pray about it a lot in December and it seemed everything pointed to going.  The thing that didn’t make sense to me was that we had invested a lot of time and money into our adoption here and if we left before we finished it would all be lost and we would have to start over since we would be in a different State.  I was really struggling at that time with surrender.  As I read a book called Hannah’s Hope I realized I was willing to let God bring children into our lives any way He wanted as long as we would have children.  I was not open to the idea of maybe being used by God in a different way other than having children.  When we considered Gateway and prayed seriously about it, it was to me my surrender of having children and just totally surrendering my future to Him whatever that might look like. 

We decided to schedule a weekend trip to Gateway the beginning of January 2014 just to see the campus because Jesse had never been there and I had only been there for the Gateway Annual Auction one time when I was younger.  We felt just seeing what the mission was and what the work would be could be really helpful in making a decision.  It was a really neat experience to see the campus and we both enjoyed our time that weekend.  On that last Sunday we were in Gateway we got a message from Wren’s birth mom saying she wanted to know more about adoption.  It was amazingly perfectly timed by God and it gave us the direction to set aside Gateway for the time being and refocus on our adoption.  As we look back on it we feel as though it was somewhat of an Abraham and Isaac situation.  God wanted us to be willing to completely surrender everything to Him including the one thing we wanted so bad at the time: to have a baby. 

As time went on we got more involved with Wren’s birth mom and as you all know she ended up deciding to move forward with adoption and Wren came into our lives on August 9, 2014!   Over the months and after Wren was born, Gateway would come to mind and we would talk about it.  Neither of us had felt like it was a closed issue but just that God had brought the adoption back to our focus for the time being.  As we would discuss it every now and then I told Jesse that God would have to change my heart if we were really ever supposed to go because I had no desire to leave and to work at Gateway at that time.  I had a new baby and I was a stay at home mom and I finally had everything I always wanted!

It was on Sunday, September 28^th that God changed my heart to the idea of Gateway.  The person we spoke to in January that does the interviews/hiring at Gateway came to Fairbury for a wedding and we were there also.  Seeing him brought Gateway to the front of our minds and then both services spoke directly to us.  They spoke a lot about holding on too tight to the things of this life and being willing to let go of everything for Christ.  Also the minister talked a lot about being willing to get outside our own little bubble and allowing God to use us for His purposes.  The minister said he doesn’t want to guilt us into doing services for Christ but he wants us to just be aware when God puts an opportunity in front of us that we are willing to take it and let Him use us in it.  In working through Wren’s adoption Jesse and I both had a burden on our hearts for Wren’s birth mom and others that have a hard past and haven’t been blessed with the wonderful family and childhood that we have.  Having our eyes open to what others have been given and difficult pasts they deal with makes us realize how blessed we truly are and leaves us with a desire to share the gospel with others and try to relate to and help young people that come from hard places.  I think this is why the services spoke so much to us.  We had been blessed with an amazingly smooth adoption and we were able to have a lot of interaction with birth mom and get to see just what her daily life is like.  Then we look at this opportunity God has placed before us to work at Gateway with teenagers that have very similar pasts to what Wren’s birth mom went through and we just felt God was plopping this opportunity right in front of us to do something with the burden we felt for Wren’s birth mom.  

After that Sunday we talked a lot about Gateway and we decided we really needed to begin praying about it and be open to the idea of going.  It is so easy to get caught up in having this sign or that sign and overanalyzing everything and trying to use the Bible as a magic eight ball to just show us exactly what we should do so Jesse and I decided we wouldn’t search for something we would just pray and ask God to give us direction somehow.  We emailed Clint, the one who does the hiring at Gateway, just to see if there were openings at that time and he told us there were but it would be later that year or the next because of some renovation to one of the houses but he felt comfortable moving forward with the hiring process if we felt led. We had to finalize our adoption before we moved if we took the position anyway so we decided to pray about moving forward with the application process at that time. 

            Over the next week we discussed going to Gateway and what that would mean for us in leaving our family and friends and our job and home and everything we know.  It was scary to think about all the change that would take place.  Wednesday morning our devotional was about death producing life.  It was talking about Jesus and said

"Look at my Son. My one and only Son died an excruciating physical death, but first he died to his own human desires so that you and many others could live. Come to me for new life, dear one.  If you can let go of things as they are now, I will sow a wealth of blessings into your life and bring about a harvest of new lives. And my kingdom will be multiplied.  Don't be afraid.  Dying to worldly desires and human inclinations sounds like an exercise in futility, but it is exactly what produces life-abundant life." 

As I read it I knew God was speaking to us to not be afraid to die to our desires and let him work through us to multiply His kingdom. I didn't know if Jesse would see it the same way because he usually applies things more literally as in this was meant that people should repent.  At noon he asked me if I read the devotional book and what I thought about it.  He also thought it applied to everything we had been discussing the days before. On a Friday Jesse and I took a trip to Bloomington.  As we drove we talked about all the change if this really would happen.  It was so hard for me to think about him leaving the farm and us leaving everything.  He told me that it was so like him to preach to everyone to just leave all these earthly things and go do God's work but he had to be willing to do it and was he? Were we really willing to give up our comfortable life to go somewhere unfamiliar if God would ask? The next day we read in our devotional book again and this is what it said.  

"Child you belong to me. Nothing can change that. Now show the world that you are mine by loving other children with your actions, not just your words.  My kind of love is far more than a feeling.  It actively sets aside its own agenda to help others in need.  It gives, sacrificing personal desires. It responds in kindness instead of anger.  Follow my example and love others patiently, humbly, faithfully. Remember, you have my love-now extend it to others. Reach out, not only to those who respond with affection, but also to those who react with betrayal. Others will notice this supernatural kind of love. They will recognize you are different. They will see that you belong to me." 

Once again God spoke clearly on exactly what we had talked about the night before and we both knew God was calling us to continue to move forward with our applications even though emotionally it would be so hard. 

We decided then to act in faith and start the application process.  We got applications from Clint and filled them out and sent them in.   We had talked with Bro. Marvin about this back in December 2013 but we hadn’t talked since.  We decided we should email him and just let him know how we were feeling led and get his support in this or any concerns he might have.  After emailing him we heard back and he did have some concerns.  Mostly about timing because we had just adopted Wren and also he felt we had made the decision very quickly.  It had been about two weeks time.  He encouraged us to take more time and really be sure God was calling us to this since it was such a huge decision and would affect so many things. 

This really put a damper on things and we did not have an easy feeling about moving forward because we felt we didn’t really have Marvin’s full support.  I decided to just set up a meeting with Marvin and really open my heart up to him about everything I have gone through spiritually in the last few years since we were married and how God has been working in Jesse and I through the adoption, opening our understanding and giving us a heart for those that do not have the blessing of a Christian home like we have.  I also did some heart searching and felt it would be beneficial for me to begin doing some more counseling with my past counselor at ACCFS about how our affection is in our marriage and also my reactions and how I handle conflict and a few other things that would have an impact if we ever did work at Gateway. After I talked with Marvin I felt so much better.  We went over so many things including multiple things to consider when making a big decision or seeking Gods will.  I realized there was so much more to consider than just seeing a sign and going feeling like if God doesn’t want us there he will stop it from happening. We contacted Clint and let him know what was going on and that we were going to take more time to pray about it and I was going to attend some counseling to get prepared if God was really calling us to this.  He was very supportive of this and even said that it is a step ahead to realize personal baggage that needs to be taken care of before we go because often times people don’t realize their personal baggage until they are working there and the struggle brings it out then they have to begin working on it while they are trying to be house parents.  We decided we would at least wait until November when we were supposed to finalize our adoption because we couldn’t leave until that was finished anyway.   We both felt that if it were truly God calling us to Gateway we would feel this call just as strongly later down that road after giving it more time and doing self-examination.

After meeting with Marvin I decided to make a list of some things we had talked about in making a big decision and also some things I had been reading in the Bible around that time that would be good advice for seeking Gods will. A few things we considered over the next few months were…

Seeking counsel, Proverbs 15:22, Proverbs 11:14,

Being in tune with God’s Spirit and allowing Him to lead us, I Corinthians 2:16,

Being still and allowing God time to speak to us, Numbers 9:8, Psalm 46:10, Proverbs 21:15,

Counting the cost, Luke 14:28-30

Motive, I Timothy 6:6

Stewardship in our current position, Luke 16:10, Matthew 25:14-30

After this I began counseling and we continued to pray about Gateway.  It seemed there were so many sermons that spoke to us about Gateway and we would feel God working in us leading us there but then the reality of moving would hit us and we would become so scared we wanted to just push it out of our minds.  Someone else filled the next position at Gateway as we continued to wait to finalize Wren’s adoption, which didn’t happen until January, and as I continued to counsel.  I had a list of a few different thing I wanted to work on or Jesse and I together work on to grow in through counseling before I would feel in a position we could commit to Gateway.  During this time I had multiple daily Bible readings that spoke so much to us about Gateway. I was reading in II Corinthians.

In II Corinthians 8 Paul speaks of the churches in Macedonia how they with joy gave all they could to help with money that was being collected even though they were very poor.  They also went beyond their own power and joined with other churches to help spread the gospel. They first of all gave themselves to the Lord ready with a willing heart to do His work. 

(8:8-14)

“I speak not by commandment, but by occasion of the forwardness of others, and to prove the sincerity of your love. For ye know the grace of our lord Jesus Christ, that, though he was rich, yet for your sakes he became poor, that ye through his poverty might be rich. And herein I give my advice: for this is expedient for you, who have begun before, not only to do but also to be forward a year ago. Now therefore perform the doing of it; that as there was a readiness to will, so there may be a performance also out of that which ye have. For if there be first a willing mind, it is accepted according to that a man hath, and not according to that he hath not.”

Paul was talking to the Corinthians about money they were going to collect to give to the Jerusalem church a year ago, but had not done it yet.  Paul encouraged them to have the collection, that as they had a ready will, they follow through and perform it.  He also encouraged them to give responsibly.  We should not give to the point that our family is hurting/suffering because of it but we need to give of the things we have and continue to give as we are able whether it be little or much.

I felt like this related so well to Gateway. Paul was telling the Corinthians they needed to prove the love by action. They had talked about taking a collection a year before but had not done it.  There needed to be a performance not just a willing mind/heart.   We had talked a lot about Gateway over the last months but had not done it.  I felt God was preparing us as a couple and our individual lives for that work but at some point there has to be an action to meet the willing mind and prove the sincerity of our love and desire to do Gods work.  Paul also talks about giving responsibly, what will this cost us, and are we able to provide for ourselves if we give in this way.  God wants us to give but not at the expense that we make our families suffer or neglect our responsibilities because of it.  Counting the Cost.

Then the next day I read from chapter 9

(9:6-9)

“But this I say, he which soweth sparingly shall reap also sparingly; and he which soweth bountifully shall reap also bountifully.  Every man according as he purposeth in his heart, so let him give: not grudgingly, or of necessity: for God loveth a cheerful giver. And God is able to make all grace abound toward you; that ye, always having all sufficiency in all things, may abound to every good work. (As it is written, he hath dispersed abroad; he hath given to the poor: his righteousness remaineth forever.”

Paul talked in the last chapter about giving responsibly but now he also teaches to give bountifully holding nothing back.  We cannot use “giving responsibly” to stop us from giving our all for God. Are we too attached to our money or something God may ask us to give up for Him? Are we using responsibility to hold onto something we truly do not need to provide for our basic needs for our family? God wants us to give unsparingly and in faith.  We have to fulfill our responsibilities but also recognize that God is able to make grace abound to provide for our needs when we willingly and cheerfully give bountifully.  We have to be responsible with our giving but also have to have faith, recognizing that God is able to provide for us when we give our all out of a pure heart.

I felt like this applied to Gateway also that we needed to be sure we were able to give in the ways necessary to fulfill the work there but also we have to go on a certain amount of faith that in areas we lack or need to grow God is able to provide grace to help us abound in that area. It was such a hard spot because we wanted to be in a position spiritually, emotionally, and in our marriage to do the work at Gateway but at what point did we realize we are ready and the things that still need work will be strengthened by God’s grace when we need it?

It was also hard to sow bountifully or be willing to just go to Gateway knowing everything we would be giving up.  We couldn’t give because we felt like we had to or out of “necessity” but instead we had to give as we purposed in our hearts out of cheerfulness.  With infertility we didn’t choose it or adoption, God gave it to us and we trusted and moved forward, with Gateway we would be choosing to give up certain blessings like being by friends, family, Jesse’s job/money, having our marriage/Wren to ourselves etc.  When things got/get hard with adoption we know we are in it because God wants us there and gave us this.  With Gateway we would be the ones putting ourselves in that position, making that choice.  Did we have the faith to believe it is truly God calling us to this? God wasn’t forcing this on us as infertility was, He was asking and the answer was up to us.  And as Paul says, giving out of necessity won’t do.  We had to give from our hearts with cheerfulness relying on God’s grace to carry us through.

One Wednesday night Bro. Art Mueller visited Forrest for church and had the service.  His sermon was about mission work over the years and what the Bible says about it.  It pretty much summed up everything we had been discussing, reading, and counseling about and tied everything into a perfect little package.  The key points that stuck out to us were as follows;

·      We need to take up the cross of Christ and not just live the life of ease.  Christ calls us to bear our cross for Him.

·      We are commissioned by Jesus to do some form of mission work/tell others about Salvation.

·      We are told to “feed” the sheep.  We cannot just tell others about Christ but must also put in time and energy to feed them and help them grow in Christ so they don’t continue living in sin once they believe in God.

·      There are many ways to do mission work and they can all be right.  Rather than judging people for their method of mission we need to just do something. Both can be right and we can learn from each other.

·      To tell others about Salvation and living for Christ we need to be in unity and be an example in our own lives, marriage, family, and church.

·      Mission work needs to be done in humility.  We can’t become prideful thinking we are better than someone else for the mission work God is doing through us.  Without God we can do nothing.

After this sermon Jesse and I both felt peaceful about Gateway but I was not at a place in my counseling that I felt spiritually or emotionally ready.  I felt at that time whenever my counselor gave his support and felt I was in a good spot we could consider Gateway.

Then at the beginning January I was given that confirmation.  I felt at that time if we could just get an email about an opening or something like that then maybe we would know it was time to move forward.  No email came and as time went on I read another devotional that gave me so much clarity.  It was about Moses and the burning bush. It talked about how Moses saw that there was something different about this burning bush because the fire didn’t consume it so he turned aside to focus on it and that is when God gave him the calling to lead the people out of Egypt.  I knew that Wren’s birth mom was our burning bush and we had a choice if we wanted to turn aside and notice or just pass by.  God put that burden on our hearts for her and was showing us that he has gifted us to be used in the way of helping people from hard places come to know Jesus!  This has always been Jesse’s passion but I felt I was more gifted to help small children or something like that.  I realized then that God used our adoption to open up my heart and eyes to see He has gifted me to help older people or teens from hard places and has placed that passion within me.  Even though we both often doubt our ability to do this work we knew God was showing us our gifts and then giving us opportunity to use them.

 A few weeks later we got the email about another opening.  We were torn because we did feel we were using our gifts right in the Forrest area and we didn’t want to have to leave our friends and family and all that we know but we also didn’t want to pass on this amazing opportunity God was putting before us. We began to pray again that God would give us clarity and faith to know His will if we should take this position or not.  We decided if we didn’t take this position we would not consider another one until we had finished another adoption in Illinois since paperwork can’t transfer between the states.  After getting counsel from our counselor, Bro. Marvin and our parents we decided to take another trip out to Gateway and we prayed that God would give us a peaceful feeling or an unsettling feeling so we could make a decision.  We did the interview while there so if we decided to move forward we wouldn’t have to come back the next week for an interview.  During the interview as we told the story of what God has been showing us over the past months I just knew we were supposed to come and it was so hard to deny God was calling us to Gateway.  We had kind of talked about making a decision on the way home so as not to drag out the process and make the decision harder.  I told Jesse that day of the interview that if we both felt led to come we would come and if one of us did not we would not come because we couldn’t just go on the faith of one person.  Knowing how stressful the job can be we both had to have absolute faith this was God calling us. 

At that time I knew in my heart we were supposed to come but I could tell Jesse just wasn’t there yet.  The next evening as we got ready for bed Jesse told me he was ready and he knew we were supposed to come also.  We both had such a peace about being there.  Don’t get me wrong we are terrified to leave everything and everyone but we know it is God leading us.  On the way home Sunday we told our parents we were going to move forward with the application process and if we were offered a position we would move. The next day, because God knows us so well and our weakness to doubt, He gave us three reassurances.  

My daily devotion for March 23rd, was called Equipped and Ready

"I take pleasure in choosing people to do my work and then empowering them to fulfill it.  I created each person with a unique personality that moves them toward a certain type of work.  When they heed the desire I place within them, they learn the skills necessary to do the job well.  And as they choose to follow me, I bestow gifts that demonstrate their true proficiency for what I have called them to do.  

I gave my people the king they desired-Saul-and provided him with all he needed to lead my people well.  But above all, I gave Saul my Spirit so that he could fulfill my calling.  Likewise, it is my delight to equip you for the work to which I have called you.  Rest Easy.  With my Spirit guiding you, you are the best one for the job."

I Samuel 10:1-24

At Jesse parent’s house when he went out to work and he glanced at the calendar, the verse for the day was Isaiah 41:10

"Fear thou not, for I am with thee; be not dismayed, for I am thy God; I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness”

And then at home I flipped my little Bible verse calendar to the 23rd because it was left on the verse from the week before and for the 23rd it was Romans 8:28 which was also a very encouraging verse for us as we worked through infertility and adoption and learned to trust God and leave the unknowns to Him.

"We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.”

            So we know it is God calling and although it seems impossible we are trusting that He will give us the faith and the grace to make this move and do this work.  We are so excited to be a part of Gateway and to work with the kids there.  We hope that you can be prayerful for us as we make this transition and that we can feel your love and support.  We have been so blessed by all our church family, friends, and family.

(There were multiple sermons and scriptures that came up right after a discussion about something with Gateway and God showed us time and time again that He was preparing us and calling us to this ministry.  I tried to share just the most prominent things that led us to our decision because as you can see it is already 8 pages long!!)